1st Valentines day, 2 Halloweens, 3 Birthdays, and a 4th Christmas
Christmas 2016 (I forgot to take pictures of our decorated house in 2017)
Lately, holidays for our family have been everything but typical. I used to put a lot of thought into planning and decorating for the holidays. Christmas was my favorite, followed by Halloween, and then in third place was easter (mainly because I’m a chocoholic). On Oct 1st and Dec 1st, I would drag out of storage all my holiday decorations and movies. I would then proceed to spend the greater part of the day decorating, watching movies, and making holiday goodies. Dec 1st, of 2017 was the last day I was able to enjoy my former holiday rituals. After that, I was able to squeeze in one more surprise birthday party for Chris before things went sideways, and the holidays took a backseat to the wild ride that would become our life.
Valentine’s day, 2018
I would like to take a step back for a moment and share with you Olivia’s first Valentine’s day. We don’t normally make a big deal of that holiday, so that year Chris wanted to do something special for us. When he finished his workday, he hunted down a bouquet of red roses and some chocolate to surprise us. For the first time, Olivia was able to see, smell, and touch a rose. Since then, we’ve introduced her to a wide variety of flowers, trees, and plants. I won’t bother going into details on Valentine's days that followed her first (because there isn’t really anything to tell).
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Olivia has yet to experience a traditional Halloween. She spent her first two Halloweens in the hospital, and her third was at home during the coronavirus lockdown. During her time in the hospital, I had lost most of my motivation to celebrate the upcoming holidays. Like many things, holidays had worked their way to the bottom of my list of priorities. I probably would have let Halloween slip by if it weren’t for the amazing staff on the pediatric ward. Their passion for the holidays had reminded me of how much I loved participating in the festivities. Each year, the ward would agree upon a costume theme, and for Olivia’s first Halloween in 2018, they decided to be unicorns because Olivia was going to be one. This was one of the many selfless gestures that her medical team had blessed us with. We walked laps around the ward with Olivia, saying hello to the staff and a few other friends we had made during our stay. Although her costume was adorable, Olivia overheated quickly, so we had to cut her visits short. Before we retired to our room to rest, we paused for a picture with some of her fellow unicorns. For Olivia’s second Halloween we were invited to join in on their costume theme (which, if I remember correctly, was wild animals). Olivia was dressed as a giraffe, while I was dressed in a unicorn onesie that was given to me by one of her nurses. Much like the previous year, our costumes were not breathable, and as a result, both of us overheated quickly. Olivia wore her costume long enough to do a couple of laps of the ward before getting her picture taken with the group. I attempted to stay in the onesie all-day by wearing it for 30 minutes at a time…. It did not go well. For her third Halloween, we literally did nothing (so I won’t waste any more time talking about it).
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As Olivia approached her first birthday, I was feeling hopeful that she would become well enough for us to be able to celebrate at home, however, that wasn’t the case. Leading up to December, Olivia faced one challenge after another. When it came time to make an update on our GoFundMe on Nov 25, 2018, I had to be honest with myself about where we would be celebrating her birthday. In her update, I mentioned that we would most likely be in the hospital for her birthday. I also mentioned that we would try to find a way to make it a special day for her. After reading our post, a friend of mine, Meghan Nishi (Sakura Baking Co.), contacted me with a generous and selfless offer. She had volunteered to make Olivia an unforgettable unicorn birthday cake. A cake that turned out to be stunning in both beauty and taste. It was 3 tiers of moist and decadent vanilla rainbow-colored layers of cake, separated by lemon white chocolate cheesecake icing. Olivia shared her cake with the staff on the ward and everyone else who came to visit her. Unfortunately, she wasn’t feeling well enough to try it herself, but everyone else seemed to enjoy it. She did, however, manage to get a taste of icing on the day before her birthday. The child life specialist on the ward (Diane) had organized a pre-birthday party for Olivia so that the weekday team could celebrate her big day with her. They brought her a cake, some gifts, and they sang to her. Olivia helped to open gifts on both days when she had the energy to do so. She was still recovering from a recent metabolic crisis and fighting off a cold she had caught. Thanks to all the love and support we received, we were able to make her birthday a special one. In case you're wondering why we made such a big deal about her first birthday, the explanation for that is sad but simple. In the months that led up to her birthday, Olivia had faced many close calls. Her health was swinging like a pendulum, from one extreme to the next. Because of how the previous 5 months had gone, we feared that her first birthday might be her last. That is why we wanted it to be a special day for all of us. Thankfully that wasn’t the case. Olivia continues to persevere through all the challenges that come her way. It had felt like a birthday miracle when Olivia was discharged from BCCH on the 13th of Dec, 2019. Because we didn’t know if we would make it home in time for her birthday, and we were also staying in Vancouver at the time, we didn’t plan anything for her 2nd birthday. We had decided we would go with the flow of the day and see where it took us. Surprisingly, the only photo I could find of her second birthday was from after she had returned to the hospital. If you want to know more about what happened on her second birthday, feel free to read my post called “Home again, home again.” This brings me to her 3rd birthday. We had been home for a little while, and things were relatively stable. As her birthday approached, I was beginning to feel paranoid that she would find a way to end up back in the hospital. I did my best to remain hopeful that she would behave herself. Given her unpredictability and the fact that we were still in the midst of a pandemic, we had decided to keep it simple. Olivia had a pile of gifts given to her by her friends and family, and I had bought a variety pack of mini cupcakes from Ooh La La Cupcakes. When Chris came home from work, we started her birthday celebration. We let Olivia pick which flavor of cupcake she wanted, then afterward, we helped her open her gifts. After we were done with the gifts, she got to try a taste of the birthday cupcake she had chosen. She wasn’t too sure what to think at first, but she ended up enjoying it in the end. As I tucked Olivia into bed that night, I couldn’t help but feel that her 3rd birthday was a success.
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Olivia was 10 days old when she celebrated her first Christmas at home with us. She spent the majority of her day sleeping and eating, but we still tried to participate in as much of our family visits as she would allow. As a new family, we were all still very exhausted, so we made sure to get some rest when we could. At the beginning of Dec 2018, when my father learned that we would be spending Christmas in the hospital, he showed up one evening with a tree and all the trimmings. In a large shopping bag, he had everything we needed to decorate our room for the holidays. With a little bit of help, Olivia’s room became one of the most cheerful rooms on the ward. Her second Christmas was full of lots of visits from family, and some friends stopped by too. We celebrated her third Christmas together at home, but in a very different way than we had in the previous years. I talk in greater detail about her third Christmas in the post “273 days,” so if you want to know what happened, check it out. We also spent her fourth Christmas at home, and it too was also very different than the previous years. We were still living in our temporary housing, and the world was still dealing with a rapidly spreading pandemic. Although we were home for the holidays, all my decorations were in storage, so it didn’t feel much like Christmas. We decided as a family to not gather so we could help slow the spread of the virus. We did miss being close with our friends and family, but I can’t really complain about how the day turned out. We got to take our time relaxing, drinking coffee, opening gifts, and eating delicious food. We had video calls with some of our family, and a few others stopped by to visit us at a distance. I know the holidays were a really difficult time for some people, and we were no exception, but it could have been much worse. We were grateful for Olivias stability, and the flexibility of our friends and family during the holidays. We all worked together, and the result was a unique and special day.
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With Olivia’s help, when Chris was at work, we would find a way to do something special for him. Whether it was for his birthday, fathers day, or Christmas, Olivia would help to make a gift for her daddy whom she adores. Our gift-making escapades would usually start on a positive note, only to end up like a poorly executed dive into a swamp. For whatever reason, the moment I would brush paint onto her hand so she could finger paint, she would go into a full meltdown. Kicking and screaming with tears streaming down her face, I would be forced to rush through the gift-making process so I could console her. Then again, Olivia was never cooperative when it came to crafting. As I write this I’m reminded of the time we tried to do a clay cast of her hand when she was about a month old. As per the instructions, we waited until she was asleep before attempting to proceed. The moment we pushed her hand into the clay, she woke, then clenched her hand into a fist while grabbing a handful of it. Then with one swift swing of her arm, she flung clay across the kitchen floor catching all three of us in the crossfire. Looking over at the rapidly setting imprint kit, it became apparent that our project could not be salvaged. Except for the imprint kit, most of our other crafting attempts turned out decently.
Jan 8th, 2018: Olivia and Otis cuddles
I had always hoped that one day I would have my own family to start holiday traditions with. When I met Chris in 2016, I had found someone I could celebrate with. 11 years later we were blessed to be able to share the traditions we had established together with our beautiful child. While Olivia was hospitalized, we were forced to break those traditions we had made, but it wasn’t all bad. Over the last couple of years, we have created some new traditions that seem to suit our little family better. I’m sure our traditions will continue to evolve as time goes on, but for now, we can’t help but enjoy what the universe has provided for us.
Below are the links to the companies I’ve mentioned in this post. Carbon Laser Designs made my moose ornament on our Christmas tree, Sakura Baking Co. made Olivia’s first birthday cake, and Ooh La La Cupcakes made the cupcake for her 3rd birthday.
